Sorry folks, this is a long one....

For the most part, things are going very well. We are getting really excited for Baby S to be part of our family, and are making so many plans. We are pretty sure on a name, but are waiting to share it with the world until she is here. Sorry - but you all have to stay in suspense. :)

Elizabeth called me today, and we had a good conversation. She keeps telling me how happy she has been since we met, and how at peace she feels about everything. She has invited me to be in the room when the baby is born, and said she wants the baby handed directly to me, and wants me to take her out of the room as soon as possible. She does not want to hold her or see her. I feel for her, and can't imagine what that moment will be like for her. I will see Elizabeth again in two weeks, for her next doctor's appointment. At this time Elizabeth will be about 20 weeks along, and halfway through the pregnancy. We should have the amnio results early next week, but for some reason I am not worried about them. The doctor took measurements of every part of Baby S, from her brain to her heart, to her arms and legs. He said everything looked great, and at this point the measurement of the brain is most important, and that he didn't think we had anything to worry about.

Elizabeth is moving into a new apartment in a couple of weeks. She doesn't feel safe where she is living. She said that her next-door neighbor is harassing her, and she heard gunshots on Sunday night. She called her landlord and he told her about another apartment he owns in a safer neighborhood, and it will be available soon. Unfortunately, it is $100 more a month than her current apartment, but at least he is transferring her security deposit. It is a one-bedroom apartment; right now she is living in an efficiency. She told me today that she is planning on getting a job after the baby is born, and wants to stay in the apartment afterward. For her sake, I hope she does.

Our lawyer wants us to keep paying the same amount each month, even though her rent is a little less than we originally estimated. They keep a careful ledger and send it to us monthly so we can see where the money is spent, and how much is left each month. The way it works is they have set up a trust account for each adoption, with each account holding the money from the adoptive parents. Payments for each adoption are made from each individual trust account. There is a separate account that is kept for the lawyer's fees for each adoptive couple. Our lawyer explained that anything extra that is left in our birth mother trust account at the end will be applied toward the final legal fees, which will make it less we have to pay in the end. I suppose this is OK. What is the difference, really? One way or another we will be paying it, anyway. And with the new apartment Elizabeth is moving into, it is really only about $125 less a month than we originally estimated anyway. When you are talking about $50,000 when all is said and done for the adoption (yes you read that correctly) what's the difference at that point?

My friend, Stacey, (I know you are reading this so if you mind me mentioning your name, let me know) said that she knows it is different for her to say this considering she isn't the one spending the money, but if in the end Elizabeth signs the paper and we get to take home Baby S, it will be all worth it. Of course she is right, and I love her for reminding me of this amazing fact. When I think of Baby S in our home, upstairs in the room we are planning for her, I feel warm inside. I know she will complete our family that is already happy. We'll just be even happier. :)