A lot has changed in 5 years

Today marks five years ago since my father passed away. It's so hard to believe. I find it so bizarre sometimes how life just goes on without the people we love. I know that's how it has to be, but it's still so odd to me. We do all the normal things we have to do such as get up and go to work, pay bils, etc., and we have major milestones such as having a baby, buying a new house, etc., even though these important people are gone.

I don't know how five years have gone by. In many ways, it feels like my father was still here just yesterday. In other ways, it feels like it's been a lifetime since I have seen him. So much has changed in five years, and I hate that he hasn't been here to see it. He's had two new grandchildren since he has been gone, has had his three eldest grandchildren begin college, and all the ones in between have grown so much and are so different than he would remember. I have married a man he has never even met, and we have moved into a new house he has never seen. How crazy is that?? I never would have imagined my father wouldn't be here to witness all of these milestones. It breaks my heart.

On Friday, I am taking Sami to the cemetery with hopes that my father will be nearby and can see his new beautiful granddaughter. It may sound morbid, but honestly it is so very peaceful there, and I look forward to spending time there with Sami.

I know the chances of you reading this are slim Dad, but I just want you to know how very much you are missed and loved today and every other day.