Every day is different

I am expecting Sami to be walking any day now. She's standing up by herself in the middle of the room, but won't take a step. She just stands there and looks down at her feet and claps and laughs. Of course I then laugh with her.

Sami really raked in the Hanukkah gifts this year. She received clothes, toys, and books from her grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins (and of course from us.) She may not understand that it was a holiday yet, but she definitely knows she has even more stuff to play with now. We also learned that she loves potato latkes, but then again Sami loves all food. We have yet to find something she will not eat. The pediatrician tells me to enjoy it now, because she may become picky later, but as for now, Sami is very far from picky. She amazed everyone last night when we got together with my family to exchange presents, when she pigged out on pizza, lasagna, a garlic roll, potato latkes and ice cream cake.

At home, she is eating and drinking mostly organic now, including organic milk and juice. After learning a couple of months ago about most apple juices containing arsenic, I switched to organic products. And of course, now Steven and I eating more organic food, too. I am a serious "couponer," and save 50 to 60 percent each week. This percentage has gone down a little bit since adding in organic products, but it's worth it knowing we are doing whatever we can in Sami's best interest.

Sami continues to amaze me each day. The truth is that most days I forget that I didn't give birth to her. We are connected in a way that I can't imagine would be any stronger if we shared the same DNA. One look at her beautiful face makes everything better, makes me calmer and seems to give me a sense of purpose.

13 months

We had a great first night of Hanukkah! The Florida Panthers hockey game tonight was geared toward Jewish families with the theme being "Chanukah on Ice." There were giveaways and holiday music throughout the entire game, and after the first period a rabbi went onto the ice and lit the menorah, while saying the appropriate prayers.

We took Sami with us, of course, and she had a blast. The arena was almost sold out, and filled with families with other young children. The game was exciting, and Sami really seemed to love her first real sporting event.

At 13 months old, Sami is still changing so much every day. And she seems to be learning so much every day. She now says, "hi" and "bye bye," in addition to "mommy" and "daddy" that she has been saying for months. Also, if you count "one, two," she yells out "three!" and whenever she sees a telephone (real or toy) she puts it to her ear and says "hello." She also loves to sing and dance. So many things she does make me laugh, and she is just more beautiful each day, too. (Not that I'm biased or anything.)

Last week, we took her to Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure, for the second time. And just like our first trip, she loved the characters, and seems to not have any fears. (I've added a couple of photos here.)

Work has been busy the past couple of weeks, which is good. I am continuing to have the editor role for a finance-industry trade magazine, and am back to editing the book I began editing last year, as the author has sent the next few chapters finally.

I am looking forward to the rest of this week, celebrating Hanukkah, and bringing in the New Year.

Sami's better :)

I am writing at 2:40 a.m. with Sami awake next to me. She is definitely feeling better, however when she was sick she stopped sleeping through the night. It seems that even though she is not sick anymore, the middle-of-the-night waking has become a habit. It's OK though, as I am sure it is temporary, and I am just so happy she is feeling better.

In the morning, we have Mommy & Me class, then I have lots of work to do, so I will be putting lots of toys out so that hopefully Sami will keep busy and let me get some work done. We'll have to see how that goes.

Thanksgiving was great this year. We went to my sister's house to celebrate the holiday, and Sami had a great time playing with her cousins. Thanksgiving is always such a fun time, and always reminds me of all the great people for which I am thankful. I have yet to find a food that Sami will not eat, and Thanksgiving did not prove to have any exceptions. She happily ate turkey, potatoes and vegetables, and even had cake for dessert.

Sami continues to change every day. She is not walking independently yet, but is becoming very fast at "furniture walking," also known as "cruising." Also when she hears music, she loves to dance, and even tries to sing along here and there, which always makes me laugh. And now when a stranger stops us to admire Sami, she looks up at me and if I'm smiling she will look back at the admirer and flash a smile as well. It's almost as though she wants my approval that the stranger is trustworthy enough of a person with whom to share a smile. :)

Somehow I love Sami more each day, and I don't know how that's possible. It's as though my heart is growing each day, filling with more love for her.

Still sick

Sami was back at the doctor today. This was her third visit since last Thursday. Her temperature is now down to just around 100 degrees, but her rash has gotten worse, although it comes and goes at different times of the day. In addition, she is absolutely miserable, crying all day, and at night waking up several times screaming as though someone is being murdered. The pediatrician said it is either a virus, a reaction to the MMR shot, or a combination of both. He said we will probably never know for sure. Either way, the treatment is the same, motrin or tylenol when she seems to be feeling bad, and lots of fluids. She's also still on an antibiotic for her ear. We may have another checkup again later this week.

It's been an exhausting and stressful few days, especially the couple of days when her fever was high reaching almost 105 degrees and worried us. The telephone has been ringing with calls from my family and friends, all asking how Sami is several times each day. Right now she is sleeping, and at a little after 6 p.m. I know that's a bad time for her to be napping (and she's been sleeping since 5 p.m.) but for now I am just grateful she is resting, even if it means she will be awake late at night.

I'm getting a little stir crazy because aside from visits with the doctor, Sami and I have not left the house since last Wednesday. Today I did put her in the stroller and walk her to the park across the street so we could both get some air. I figured the park with its open air was safe, as I do not want to get anyone else sick, and if it's a virus she is contagious until she has a normal temperature for at least one full day.

At 1-year-old, Sami weighs 19 pounds and 7 ounces and is 29 and a quarter inches long. On the chart she is about 15 percent for weight, and 50 percent for height. A big change from the 3 pounds and 9 ounces, and 16 and a quarter inches she was on Nov. 4, 2010, when she wasn't even on the chart. I look back at photos of Sami often, and at amazed at how much she has grown.

Sami's sick :(

It's been a long few days!! Sami has been sick with a temperature ranging from 102 to 104.8, and has been to the doctor twice this week, and we almost took her to ER last night when her temperature reached the 104.8.

We were able to get it down to 102 with wet cloths and alternating tylenol and motrin, and took her back to the doctor again this morning. It turns out Sami has 3 different things going on right now. She has a rash as a reaction from the MMR shot she had last week at her 1-year-old checkup, she has a boil behind one ear, which she has been on antibiotics for since Thursday morning, and she has a viral infection of some kind.

Basically we were told to just make sure she is drinking a lot, give her tylenol/motrin as needed and she'll be better in a few days. If she is still getting a high fever by Monday or Tuesday though, she needs to go back to the doctor.

I feel so bad that she is sick, and I myself am getting lightheaded from the lack of sleep over the past three days. But I feel a little more relieved today after being back at the doctor this morning, and when she naps later, I plan to do the same thing.

It's still so hard to believe Sam is 1 year old. With 6 little teeth, she is starting to look more like a toddler and less like a baby already. Her birthday party was really great, and in all we had 58 adults and children at the park to celebrate with us. Sami had a great time diving into the little cake that was just for her.

Sami and I have been keeping busy. We've made a lot of new friends throughout the past several months, and I'm enjoying working from home and taking breaks to meet friends for playdates during the week. It's been a little challenging at times when she wants attention and I'm on deadline, but it's been worth it to have her with me.

Our newest friends include Debra, and her son, Colton, who we met at Mommy & Me. Colton is 14 months old, and his father is in Iraq. He hasn't seen Colton since he is 3 months old, and Debra has been basically a single mother for the past year. Sami and Colton are very mischievous when they are together, and it's so much fun to watch. At times, Debra and I are even embarrassed, while the other children sit so nicely during the parts of the class that are supposed to be quiet, while Sami and Colton take off together and disobey playing together in a corner acting as though they are the only two kids there. They were fast friends, following in their mothers' footsteps.

Another new friend has 2-year-old twins, who they were blessed with after using a surrogate. It's nice to have someone to talk to that also didn't go through pregnancy to become a mother, and we are able to share our stories and truly understand each other.

In all, I've met a lot of new people that I would never have met if it wasn't for being a mom, and I know Sami and I are creating long friendships. Of course, we are lucky enough to have friends I've known for years as well, such as Stacey, and her daughter, Hannah, who is only 5 weeks older than Sami. Those two will be growing up together, and Stacey and I are determined that they will become and remain "BFFs."

I feel truly blessed to be Sami's mother. Even though I have been worried the past few days with her being sick, she truly brings me nothing but joy every day. Sure, there are days where she is crabby and screams all day, but the moments that stand out in my mind are the ones where she laughs and plays, and looks up to make sure I'm still there, smiling to see me there and calling out "Mama."

Sami is 1

Sami is 1 year old today. How is that possible? On one hand, it feels as though she was just born yesterday, but on the other hand, I barely remember my life before her and it's as though she has always been here with us.

This past year has been exhausting, overwhelming and emotional, but it's also brought me more joy than I've ever known before.

On Sunday we are having a big birthday in the park for Sami. We are expecting more than 60 adults and kids.

As for today, we've decided to have more of a private celebration. Tonight, Steven, Sami and I are going to celebrate her birthday together, just the three of us. We have so much for which to be grateful, and are looking forward to spending some alone time with Sami on her first birthday. Don't get me wrong, we are also extremely excited for her big party on Sunday, but in a very different way, we are equally excited for our small family celebration of just us three.

On Thursday night, our niece, Rachel, spent the night. She wanted to be here for a little bit of Sami's first birthday. And as if Sami knew her birthday was approaching, she woke up a few minutes before midnight. As you can see in the picture I've attached, Rachel read her a story to try to help her fall back asleep.

I've also included a few photos from Sami's first Halloween. Anyone that knows us, knows that we love Halloween. But this year's Halloween was by far the best one yet, because we got to share it with Sami.

Almost 1, and changing every day!

I know I've said it before, but I'm going to say it again: Time is going by so quickly. Sami's 1st birthday party is in three weeks from today!! I can't believe in just a few short weeks, my beautiful little girl will be 1 year old.

I've posted a little video today at the bottom of this post, of Sami having a good time in a swing in our local park.

I haven't been writing about it here, but Sami has been going to two physical therapists since August, after being diagnosed with plagiocephally and torticollis. Torticollis is having weak neck muscles and plagiocephally is when a child develops a flat area on his or her head. Usually the plagio is caused by the torticollis because a baby with a weak neck tends to lean on one side of the head a lot more often than the other side, which causes a flat area to form. For those of you that have seen babies with helmets around town, that's usually the reason. The helmets fix the head shape, making a perfectly round head. We were lucky that Sami's case was not severe enough to warrant a helmet, so she has been going having two types of physical therapy: one to work on her neck muscles and one that does cranial-sacral therapy to help even out the shape of her head. Sami's case was one that nobody noticed, and I didn't even notice until it was pointed out to me by our pediatrician. (We have since switched pediatricians due to the poor care she was given, but I'll write about that another time.)

Anyway, last week the neck therapist, who Sami was seeing weekly, said that she is doing so well that he wants to see her one more time in a month just to make sure she still doing great, and if she is, he is going to discharge her from therapy. The doctor who is doing cranialsacral therapy on Sami is also not seeing her again for a few weeks, and is expecting to discharge her at that time, too!! I've been doing stretches and exercises with Sami several times a day that the therapist suggested, and it seems to really have done the trick! I couldn't be happier!!

Lately, Sami has really been keeping me on my toes! She is crawling so quickly that sometimes you have to jog a bit to catch up to her! And she is furniture walking, also called cruising, now. She's tried to let go a few times, but when she does that she usually falls, and sadly has a couple of bruises from our tile floor to prove it.

Meanwhile, I am getting excited for her 1st birthday party, and at last count am expecting close to 50 people (adults and kids combined). We rented a pavilion at a park that has a great playground and a very large open field area, so it should be a good time, as long as the weather is good that day.

I still think about Elizabeth, and wonder where she went. I haven't spoken to her since January. I hope where ever she is, she is doing well. I feel forever connected to her, and despite her not making the best choices throughout her life, I will always be beyond grateful to her. In fact, "grateful," feels like such a weak word to describe it. I have this beautiful little girl who makes me happy every day. I feel as though I have a new purpose in my life I never knew existed. Things that seemed so important to me before, seem trivial now. The most important thing now is to make sure that Sami is happy and healthy every day.