Julie & Julia

Has anyone ever seen the movie "Julie & Julia?" I believe it was a book first, and if so, it will be on my list of books to read. I can't sleep once again, and am watching the movie now, even though I have seen it before.
There are a couple of references in the movie about Julie Child never having children, and the story implies that she was infertile. In one scene, she is sitting in the park watching a mother walk by with an infant in a stroller, and Julia Child watches longingly as the woman walks by. In the other scene, she gets a letter from her sister with news that she is pregnant. She tells her husband she is happy for her, but says it through tears, sobbing on her husband's shoulder as she declares this happiness for her sister.
I know how Julia Child felt. I have several friends, family members, and colleagues who have shared with me their news of finding out they are pregnant. Don't get me wrong. I am very happy for them. But I couldn't have helped feeling sad for me at the same time. This is something that women who were able to get pregnant easily may not understand. Those of you facing infertility issues know exactly what I am talking about. There have been several times that I have hugged someone and congratulated them for their exciting news, then have gone home and cried afterward. It's not that I'm not happy for them. I guess it's just that I wanted it for myself, too.
Before we matched with Elizabeth, our social worker who is doing our home study told me that once we match with someone I would feel better, and in many ways I would feel as though I am pregnant myself as I wait for the baby to be born. She was right. I do feel better. I do feel pregnant.
I guess today was just bittersweet. I went to a couple of large baby stores Saturday with my sister, my mother, my niece and a friend of mine who is pregnant, and of course the majority of women shopping in the stores were visibly pregnant. I was happy to be looking at baby items. (I am not buying anything yet, just getting ideas and getting an idea of how much everything we need will cost.) But it still hurt to see all of the pregnant women in the store. Does this make me a bad person to feel this way?